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[sticky post] OH WELL PTHHHHHHHHhhh

Aug. 29th, 2012 | 11:59 am
I am just feeling...: coldcold

AGAIN another year has gone by! I blog daily, but on cabingoddess.com .. I review books, I run a publicist company and I am drowning with busy crazy stuff!

MWAH! I do miss LJ it is a fun place but.. alas I moved on! But I need to come back and check here occasionally! Some of you are still here!

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Oct. 5th, 2011 | 11:59 am

Still living in the cabin
still in love and living with Geoff
Still stuck in AK
Amanda graduated HS! YAAAA
BIG NEWS? I finally have Internet here in the freaking cabin yaaaa
I maintain a blog at Cabin Goddess which I blog about food, life up here in Alaska, living in a dry cabin, some crafting etc... and I twitter and have a FB account etc! But other then that HEY!~

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Just a hello!~!

May. 21st, 2009 | 04:07 pm
I am just feeling...: annoyedannoyed

Hope everyone is set to have a good weekend. I had a change of plans but I am sure the holiday weekend will be just fine. Summer Sessions starts Tuesday. First day of class for me is Wednesday... not a long enough break! EEK!~

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not much

Feb. 20th, 2009 | 02:52 pm
I am just feeling...: bitchybitchy

I know this is not my primary place of posting but i owe it to a few friends where this is the only place they really post on.

Life at school is grand, doing well. I had a horrid bladder infection that apparently left me septic the first week of school. I did not even know i was sick. I thought i was going into menopause.. lol
Cipro cleared it up. Now I am sicker than a dog with something that is deep inside of me. Congested sick and feverish. Mad at Geoff because he is sick and not taking care of himself. He freaking at ice cream. ATE IT... he is so congested and he goes and does that shit and has the nerve to give me a lecture about watching what I eat because of the congestion.

Sorry just upset because of the fact that he can be sick and miserable and leave it to me to clean up after him and me and everything. We are staying at his mom's house and i cannot keep up with it and i am overwhelmed. I want to go home to MY bed, MY couch... my own coffee mugs with hot tea, MY blankets.. sniff.. i am such a baby, but i am sick of being and feeling useless to Geoff.

OK done... i am getting A's in all my classes thus far.

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Obsessed with the Freecreditreport.com band and guy!

Jan. 30th, 2009 | 12:40 pm
I am just feeling...: amusedamused

OK so I am obsessed with the freecreditreport.com band. In actuality it is a French-Canadian actor, Eric Violette and two other guys. He is acutally singing and playing the guitar, according to an MSNBC story about the commercials. And it is not free, it is $14.95, liars. But who cares, Eric is HOT, the Indie band rocks, the commercial diddie rocks, and I have to dance and sing at home when it comes on the TV. I am going to miss the TV when we go back to the cabin this year. There are actually more then the pirate and Ren Faire ads, there is the first one Dreamgirl, and then there are four others, the new bike one; the second one, is on the Radio and limited TV spots. So what does this have to do with mental illness or me? Well I would definately qualify this as a manic response to a silly commercial. At any rate below are two examples, and Eric's resume can be found through the link. He is a pretty skilled singer and musician and also acts. It is just a very manic response and plus he is hot!

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And we are off! New year, new semester, new adventures!

Jan. 27th, 2009 | 01:41 pm

Life so far this semester
Current mood:  amused

Well my classes are busy and this is the first semester in two years that I am doing five classes, one online digital photography so not that much pressure and I can be creative. My math class for dummies is NOT for dummies because the teacher rocks and she really makes me feel more confident that I can do this. Plus she is making us micromanage ourselves. This is actually a good thing! My broadcasting class is going to be challenging but fun fun fun and Jeremy is the TA again! YAAA.. My Jane Austen class by far will be my biggest challenge, and then there is the American Pros from 1920 till now. We are starting off reading noir novels, awesome I love old crime novels so I already have read a lot and it is with my favorite English teacher, Karen Grossweiner so I am stoked. But I missed the first class because...

I GOT TO START THIS SEMESTER OFF almost dieing AGAIN! WTF... I thought I had a simple bladder infection or I was going into early menopause because I was getting a fever every night like clockwork for over a week. When I got into the doctor, on a whim mind you because both Geoff and I thought I was just a LITTLE sick... ya 105.5 and 15 times higher bacteria count than a normal bladder infection.. SHEESH... I was given shots and Cipro and sent home for two days so I even though I did go to class the next day I ended up missing the last one because I fell asleep reading the book for class at the Pub and I was not even drinking, just still had a fever and I was sick. But all is good. It was a SPECIAL type of bladder infection that less then 2% of the population ever get.. well I am special so it fits, right? riiiiiiiggggght... IT SUCKED.. then they call me on Friday, which is the only reason I woke up, and the blood test they took showed me going septic... niiiiiiiiiiiice... so more shots and a few more days of Cipro.... since my levels on the uranalisis were less than half they were 24 hours earlier. I am also lucky... very lucky... and I never do anything the EASY way... even getting sick... GAWD!

Last night I was feeling so good I went crazy manic and drove Geoff crazy and I ended up all over the place and finally fell asleep at 2 and could not wake up this morning and look and feel like shit again.

So back to the grindstone and drinking another bottle of water.  Hopefully this will be the last of the drama for at least another week.. lol


Currently listening:
Get Away from Me
By Nellie McKay
Release date: 2004-02-10

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Amanda and her boyfriend Josh... she tuns 16 in January

Nov. 20th, 2008 | 11:57 am
I am just feeling...: busybusy

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People can really suck and PTSD rears its ugly head!

Nov. 13th, 2008 | 03:13 pm
I am just feeling...: distresseddistressed

PTSD can rear it's head at the most inappropriate time.This time I had a very important event to be at in support of my partner. He has been such a support for me and now I wanted to be there for him for his first visit from the Wicket Girls. It had been a crazy week for Geoff trying to get the store perfect for their visit. Making sure we had security and the police were notified. But during my mania I was struggling with really trying to stay under control. The best thing I could do was, thank you mom, making myself as pretty as possible. I got my hair cut and colored. Had some nails done. Had a great outfit picked out. I even went in early and ended up painting my face and putting my makeup on in the mall.Just an FYI there are plug-ins in the Bentley Mall bathrooms!, koodos to Ed, who managers and is partial owner of the development.

Now I am all ready. I had my computer ready to take advantage of the free WiFi at Carrs Safeway. When I walked out of the bathroom I had a group of young men falling me. Panic started in when I heard a few snippets of their comments. Then as soon as I got between the bank and the liquor store they were all over me. After my rape I thought I had my PTSD under control where I could stand up and just tell them to back off. They ended up getting my name from someone I was talking to and have tracked me down. But in the mean time I feel like I wasted all the attention Geoff gave me to get ready and I ran home and took an extra Xanax and cowered under my covers depressed, shaking and just feeling like I was back where I was after the rape.

My message is, no matter how great your medications are. No matter how great your psychologist is. No matter how great the support, you will be facing things like this the rest of your life when you suffer from bipolar and PTSD. You do not have to be an Iraqi or Vietnam Soldier to suffer from PTSD. My rape and my spousal abuse compounded it for me. Just take it a day at a time. Keep yourself safe and try not to panic.

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New Job, School, Kids etc

Oct. 9th, 2008 | 02:24 pm
I am just feeling...: coldcold

Geoff's new job is grand! he is happy all the time, which makes it so much nicer here at home.
I know it is having an effect on me because I am more stable and having an easier time recognize if I am having a hard day.

I fell a few weeks ago, the day before we had our first snow. I ended up cracking a couple of ribs, breaking my hand and screwing my wrist up, just a sprain thank goodness. But it screwed me over. I can barely carry my backpack on M and W but on T and Th I have two HUGE ass books and I have to carry an additional bag because they are so thick. It is one of those days, Tuesday, and I am in pain. But it also screws me at cleaning the house, I cannot use my right hand for stuff like that. I can only type for a an hour at a time before my fingers start tingling.

Amanda is moving up. It was going to be at Christmas but now I want it to be around June. I have to get the girls cell phones, I am going to talk to my parents about paying for them to put the girls on their plan. Mark is moving back to MA but I am not sure when. He and Cheri treat Amanda like shit and think Jojo walks on water. So, we decided she is moving up here to live with Mom again. The littlest are crazy and wild as ever! Doing very well otherwise, with their new mom (rolling eyes - Bill's new wife) and their dad being in Iraq yet again.

I have been watching X-Files, and we now own season 5 & 6. I borrowed the first four seasons and so its nostalgia time at our house. Also got the first two seasons of Babylon 5. For new stuff we have Brotherhood, Dexter; 2nd season, House; season 1-3. I have fallen in love with House. He has totally grown on me and we are done with almost 1/3 of it. I stopped so Geoff could play Too Human on the 360 last night.

School is going well. Just tired all the time, which is probably the stress of doing it on lower medication levels and healing the broken body. I just want to get through the rest of the semester and close on a positive note.

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i know its august again

Aug. 17th, 2008 | 10:14 pm
I am just feeling...: chipperchipper

Well i have had a hell of a year.
My kids are wonderful. Amanda is finally doing better. She starts her sophomore year and her step mother is finally not being such a bitch! She is drop dead gorgeous with solid curves from here to there, and boobs.. ACK!

Jojo reads anything she can get her hands on, is the star in choir, is a straight A student. and is still my little goddess girl!

Nathan graduated and should go to law school as far as i am concerned. Instead he is writing poetry, smoking some organic cigarettes (whatever that is), working at the farmers market and some fast food joint... oh and he got his license and drove for a vacation to Cali.  He honestly is doing great, but i wish he would go back to college and do it for real. He could be anything, but it is his life and he turns 20 this Feb.

Willow is doing AMAZING! yes she does have ADHD but no longer is she the trouble maker. She is polite. quiet at times, reads like crazy and way far advanced. Found out that she needs to be on a swim team, i hope I can get Bill and his new wife to agree. It will be hard for Geoff and I to help out equally though with his new job schedule and my screwed up school schedule. SHe is unbelievable! She learned the butterfly this weekend with me, i was blown away. She even beat my dad swimming the backstroke and my dad did not cheat this time and let her win. She truly is turning out to be AOK...

Liam has come out of his shell under the tables or my skirt and is out there having political discussions about oil drilling, aerial hunting and Iraq.. i kid you NOT! HE IS 8. He is taller then his sister. But they still look like twins. He learned to swim the front stroke almost perfectly this weekend and learned the flip turn.  I HAVE to get them both swimming and on a team. They are so great!  Liam is so smart, as is Willow, but each have their own nitch, it makes each day just go by with a smile. The only time it is hard is at night, when we really do not have a huge space and they need their own. Willow, because of her ADHD meds has to take sleeping pills and melatonin still to get to sleep, but if not taken right she cannot sleep and gets to the point that i am holding her as she sobs she just wants to sleep at 1 am. But we usally get it right. It just has been hard with the schedule breaker of a visit from grandparents, which happened over my birthday weekend this last weekend.

My friends here, i do read, just never really comment on any because i do not feel part of the world anymore. I miss being an Army wife, but i love my life now. Geoff will be running a new store in town and making more money then we ever thought would be paid for a retail place plus have such good health, dental and vision insurance that my meds and doc visits are squared away for the first time since Bill and i divorced. I am a senior this year, but it will take a couple more years because i am a double major and i have to do my student teaching for the English degree.

Other then that i have gained a bunch of weight because of the meds. Have been a good girl for a loooooooooong time. Finally finding out what was wrong and why i was the way i was, has helped. But the cost of the meds have been killing us... we cannot afford to live anywhere other then the stupid cabin.

ANYWAY... hope everyone does well.. oh and Ben welcome to the 20th century... Cassie i am so sorry about Sophie, Lizz you and Ambien are so silly and Mo... i love reading your posts and Alaska misses you... oh and tell that girl of you grats Bridget!

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